Revolutionizing a Robot
by redwalgrl-RG
Summary: He's not supposed to feel, yet that stupid virus is infecting him. One-sided BenderxFry, FryxLeela, and RobotDevilxBender.
1. Jealousy and a Plot Point

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter One: Jealousy, and a Plot Point**

My first Futurama fic, and it's a strange love triangle of sorts. I should feel guilty, I suppose. Ah well. Anyway, this fic contains yaoi. Don't like, don't read. Contains FryxLeela, one-sided BenderxFry, and RobotDevilxBender as the three main couplings. If you don't want to read it, there's a lovely back button. Utilize it. If you do read, I would love to see a review, because I tend to get discouraged when my fics receive no reviews.

Without further ado, enjoy the first chapter.

_Rated for themes, language, and some other crap I'm forgetting._

-+-

"Good news, everyone!"

The crew of the Planet Express glanced up from their normal morning activities. This included drinking and smoking for Bender, applying makeup for Amy, staring off aimlessly into space for Fry, looking over budget reports for Hermes, adjusting and readjusting her boots in Leela's case, and eating whatever garbage he could find—obviously Zoidberg.

The Professor entered, holding up what appeared to be an old-fashioned computer chip, like one from Fry's time period. "I've just created something that will revolutionize the field of robotic romance!" He exclaimed happily.

"Oooh! Ooh! Test it on me!" Bender jumped up and down in hi seat, then remembered to ask, "Uh, what does it do?"

The Professor clicked his tongue against his teeth to make a 'tsk, tsk' sound. "Well we can't very well discover that until it's tested, now can we?"

Statements of "You know it," "Sounds safe," and, "Zoidberg approves!" flooded in, and Bender—if he had been able to—would have nodded.

"Sounds good, ol' man! Let's get to it!"

"Wait," Leela interrupted, "is that the chip you're going to use to update Bender, Professor? Isn't it a little… well… old?"

Silence reigned for a critical moment before the Professor remembered to answer. "Oh my, yes. But Bender's programming is a bit antique in and of itself."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" Was the robot's response.

-+-

"Now, now, this may hurt a little."

"Up yours!" Bender snapped in response. He was strapped to a metal table by the ship's unbreakable wire, with his coworkers sitting around him, munching on popcorn. Apparently Fry had finally mastered the thirty-first century microwave. "C'mon, c'mon, let's get goin' already, meatbag!"

"Very well then." The Professor snapped on his goggles and then with a very delayed "Ouch!" proceeded to insert the chip into a cavity on the side of Bender's metal head. "All done!"

"Well that didn't hurt at all," Bender scoffed, and then was smacked over the head with the Professor's wrench. "Ow! Hey! You dented me!"

"I had to make it hurt somehow." Professor Farnsworth shrugged. "Now it's time to move on to the testing procedure!"

If he could have, Bender would have grinned. "Oh boy, this is gonna be great!"

His coworkers didn't look as happy as he did. They had wanted more violence, and less robot-on-robot action. They got up and left the room grumbling various complaints. "Who wants to watch _All My Circuits_?" Fry asked as they exited.

The other set of doors slid open, revealing Hermes and Scruffy the janitor pushing in two large wooden crates. "Here ya go, man," The bureaucrat said, patting the box he'd pushed in, "two lovely little fembots for you to experiment on." He smacked the boxes with a crowbar and the fronts fell off. Both fembots immediately approached Bender, giggling and showing a bit too many open circuits.

"Oh my," Said the Professor, adjusting his glasses.

"This is gonna be great!" Bender repeated his earlier statement happily. As the Professor, Hermes, and Scruffy filed out, he remembered something important. "Hey, wait! Someone untie me!"

"Ooh, mister Bender, I didn't know you were into something so _kinky_…"

"Make sure to tell me what my robot-romance revolutionizing chip does!" The Professor called as the doors slid shut.

-+-

It was weird, Bender thought as the two fembots strode out. Usually he would have felt inclined to be more chauvinistic, and would have spent the whole time trying to score. In fact, that's what he _should_ have done. But instead, they'd just talked—about life, the universe, and why robot subculture deemed that robots should be skinny. Oh no! Was he turning into a woman!? Not again! Unless he was winning gold medals, but that certainly wasn't happening…

Still, he had no idea what the chip had done. Vague suspicions, sure, but no concrete idea. The Professor hadn't been pleased, and said he wasn't going to pay for anymore hookerbots. A week passed normally with Bender being the usual annoying robot he always was. Even more time would have passed by peacefully if it hadn't been for that fateful day, or rather, that fateful conversation.

"Amy," Leela started, leaning over the dinner table as Bender attempted to watch TV. "I'm curious. Fry keeps asking me out, and I'm running out of excuses. What do you think his best feature is? You did date him for awhile, after all."

"Well spluh!" Amy's voice really got on Bender's nerve-circuits, and he turned up the TV. Elzar wasn't even on! It was just Rachel Ray's head, and she couldn't even cook! Oh, not to mention the fact that she was a woman. "Fry's such a sweetie. And he really cares about you, Leela! But he's not as kind, and sweet, and loveable as my Kiffy-poo!"

If Bender had been capable of it, he would have cringed. Normally he would have told them to shut up and then left the room, but there were no other working TVs, and he didn't want to go help the Professor haul boxes up to his laboratory, like the others were doing. How had he gotten out of it anyway? Maybe they forgot about him. Either way, he'd rather be here than doing work.

Leela considered Amy's words in silence, which Bender was grateful for. "You really think so? Do you think I should—hypothetically—give him a chance?"

Amy opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, Bender found himself on his feet, ignoring the TV for once in his short existence. Four years was a very small amount of time in human years, but shortly, he'd be obsolete. "No way, Jose. There is no _way_ my good buddy meatsack—err, Fry—is going to date a one-eyed freakazoid like _you_!"

Leela's solitary eye brimmed with tears and she ran out, Amy close on her heels. She did pause to give Bender a dirty look though. Left alone, the robot stopped to evaluate the situation. He didn't like the conclusion he kept reaching.

Bender was _jealous_. And not of Fry, for hypothetically getting a girl (finally).

"Oh… my… God. No!" Bender shouted, clawing at his head in horror. "It can't be! I've…! I've been turned into… into… a _gaybot_!!"

"Keep it down in there, you bucket of bolts! I'm trying to nap!"

-+-

"Okay, okay, keep it together, Bender…" The robot was rocking back and forth in his apartment, arms wrapped tightly around his metal frame. If he had teeth, they'd be chattering. Bender was never so nervous, or scared of his own supposedly non-existent emotions. He wasn't supposed to feel anything! Oh why, _why_ was he so different from other bending units!? And how? How could a chip have possibly…?

No. No, he wasn't gay. He couldn't be. After all, robots weren't programmed to be gay. Why would anyone want a gaybot in the first place? So he was just mistaken. He was just feeling a little weird that his two friends would date. He'd be like a third wheel. And the only things with three wheels were completely useless. Like a tricycle! Only children used those! Children meatbags, even worse!

"It's okay, I'm not…" Bender lost balance and slammed into the wall, causing a lovely dent in the metal and hearing a shout from the apartment next door. "Sorry!" He called through the wall and added in an undertone, "Sucker." At least he still felt the same. Nervous, but otherwise very much the same. The chip hadn't done anything. It was a lie. Lies, all lies, all of them…

"Hey, Bender, can you keep it down?" Fry asked, poking his head through the doors and earning himself a squeaky yelp from his roommate. "I'm trying to sleep. Unlike robots, us meatbags need our sleep, you know."

"Uh huh, yup, I know, uh huh." Bender bobbed up and down in a full-body nod, nervously. He couldn't even talk to Fry normally anymore! But it was all in his head, if only he could focus on something else, then surely all this would pass…

Fry frowned. "You seem a bit wound up, buddy. Have you been not drinking?"

Oh! That had to be it! Bender pulled out a beer and popped the cap off. "No, I mean yes, I mean—" He cut himself off to swig the bottle instead. He wouldn't say anything, that would work better.

"Goodnight, Bender."

"Night, meatbag." At least _that_ sounded normal.

-+-

As strange as he felt, no one seemed to notice any difference. This fueled his belief that they didn't pay any attention to him. But at least he wasn't Zoidberg! That was a fate worse than death, in his opinion. And death for a robot was just shutting off. If he didn't have so much to live for, he'd consider getting rebooted to remove this virus chip from his head. Yes, that's what it was. It was a virus that was messing with his head!

But if he asked the Professor to remove it, then he'd have to explain why. And explaining that he thought he was having homosexual thoughts (not to mention robo-human-sexual thoughts) was even worse than being Zoidberg. It would be humiliating, and Bender didn't do humiliating.

"Well guys, we're off." Leela shoved a package in Bender's arms and motioned for the others to follow her into the ship. "We're going to drop this package off in Las Vegas. So it won't take very long."

"Oh, that's in California, right?" Fry asked, showing once again his amazing grasp of geography.

Professor Farnsworth adjusted his glasses. "Well, it was in Nevada until the year 2032, when California waged a war against Nevada, and then took it over. That region of the United States is now called Calivada."

"Oh." Fry apparently hadn't been paying any semblance of attention, for he quickly hurried off to the ship. "Last one there's a rotten shellfish!"

"I take offense at that!" Zoidberg called after him, but as usual, no one paid him any mind.

Bender followed Leela onto the ship, surprised that he found himself almost wanting to apologize. The virus-chip must have been playing havoc with his emotions too! But he wasn't supposed to have any. Time and time again he'd shown that he did have something similar to emotions, but he certainly wasn't going to admit that he did have them.

"You're awfully quiet today, Bender." Leela seemed to forget the incident, starting up the controls of the ship and strapping in. "This mission shouldn't be very dangerous, but still, don't do anything stupid, either of you two! We're going to meet with the mayor—"

"Can he get us free passes to a casino?" Fry interrupted. Bender laughed, but it was only half-hearted.

Sighing, Leela took off without any response. It would be pointless to tell Fry that getting into the casino was free, you just spent your money on stupid games that were always rigged. She certainly wasn't going to gamble. Even if they were in the luckiest city on the face of Earth…

-+-

The mission went off without a hitch, for once. The mayor thanked them and they were free to go. But that didn't mean they were going to. "Please, Leela? Oh please, oh please, oh please?" Fry begged, now on hands and knees outside the ship.

"Get up, you're embarrassing us," Leela muttered, trying to get Fry to follow her onto the ship.

"No, not until you agree to go on a date with me—to the casino! And maybe one of those magic shows. I hear they have those cool magical guys' heads in jars! You know, the ones with the tiger?"

Bender had gone silent again, steaming. Fry was always so desperate to go out with Leela, but had he ever thought how his best robot friend and roommate would feel about this? Huh? Had he!? No, he was being irrational again!

"It can't hurt," Leela finally sighed. She didn't notice the glare Bender sent in her direction. "Oh fine. Let's go to a casino. But just one! And only for a few hours!"

"Alright!" Fry cheered, jumping upright and taking her hand. Then, as an after-thought, he turned to Bender and held out a twenty dollar bill. "Leela and I want to be alone. You can have fun by yourself, right?"

"Sure, of course I can! I'm not jealous at all of you two, nope, no siree." Bender snatched the twenty and stormed off. Unfortunately it didn't have the expected effect, for Leela and Fry just shrugged, then took off toward one of the casinos.

"Stupid woman! Stupid meatbags! Stupid mutants! They can all bite my shiny metal ass! And go to hell!" Bender grumbled, wandering around aimlessly. Even the pretty hookerbots of Vegas couldn't capture his attention. Not even the male hookerbots. No, he was focused solely on Fry, and Leela, and their budding relationship. Maybe… maybe there was a way for him to stop it! But how? How indeed…

Bender found himself wandering through an old, rundown carnival area, that looked oddly similar to the one on the New, New York-Jersey border. He entered a tent that looked strangely similar to the one housing Robot Hell, and found himself once again in that raging inferno hot enough to melt lesser metals. "Oh crap."

"Bender, my good friend!" The Robot Devil appeared from nowhere, causing another girly yelp from the silver robot. "I didn't think I'd find you here in Vegas Robot Hell. We're like the Jersey edition, only without the Jersey-ness." Apparently he didn't realize he wasn't making any sense. "Anyway, what brings you to hell this time? Have you stolen from Boy Scouts again? Or is this another deal? I'm not giving you or your silly friend my hands this time."

He sure did like to hear himself talk, Bender thought. "Nah, uh, I actually just stumbled in here on accident. I'll be going now—"

"Nonsense!" He interrupted, then waved his hands for his minions to start up some music. "I won't take no for an answer! Surely you came to hell for a reason. After all, one doesn't just leave hell without something in return."

Oh no, what does that mean? Bender was dragged along by the Robot Devil, not putting up much of a fight.

The two finally stopped in front of what appeared to be a large store. The window was decorated in robot bumper stickers and decals, and inside were stuffed animal Robot Devils, as well as golden fiddles. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. "Welcome, to Hell's gift shop! Only available here in Vegas, unfortunately." He dragged Bender inside, waving in greeting to the bored-looking robot behind the register. "Now, now, what will you have?"

"No offense or anything—which really means don't confine me to hell—but I'm not really interested in buying anything." Bender finally pulled out of the Robot Devil's grasp and started edging his way toward the door. "Now if you don't mind…"

Eyes narrowed, the Robot Devil's arms shot out to pull Bender back. "So." He stated. Bender didn't like his tone. "You don't want to buy anything from the gift shop. You don't want to make a deal with me. And you're not here because of anything you've done."

"Nope," Bender added in helpfully.

"Very well then!" The Robot Devil exclaimed, letting go of Bender's arms to clap his hands together. The little hellion robots appeared beside him in a flash of red and gray smoke. "You may leave hell. On one condition."

"Of course."

"You must tell me your innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires!" The Devil laughed, a cackling, nails-on-chalkboard sort of sound that would have had Bender wincing had he been capable of it. "Welcome back to hell!"

Bender groaned. This wasn't going to be fun at all. His innermost thoughts and feelings, and desires? "What are you, gay?"

"No, I'm actually bisexual—which is the worst kind of sexual! Aside asexual." The Robot Devil laughed again, his minions laughing along with him this time. "Shut up, all of you!" They fell silent. "Now then, to the confession chamber!"

-+-

Bender had expected something more elaborate. This was actually a really simple confession chamber. But he was tied upside-down to a wall and ratbots were scurrying around underneath him. "Well, this isn't all that comfy."

"It's not supposed to be." The Robot Devil was seated on a chair, filing his nails. "Now then, let the confession begin! It's just the two of us, so talk about whatever you want. So long as it's true. I'm built with a lie-detector, you know!"

"Joy," Bender grumbled and attempted to move. No luck. "Well, after the last time I saw you, I got this chip installed in me and I think it's giving me a virus."

The Robot Devil suddenly perked up. "A virus, you say?" He jumped up and stalked over to Bender cat-like. "Tell me more. Virus is my middle name!"

"You don't even have a name!"

"Oh yes I do!" He seemed offended, and folded his arms. "I have many names. Robot Devil, RoboSatan, and Beelzebot are the main three. But anyway! Tell me more about this virus. Is it causing your circuits to run haywire?"

"No…" Bender again struggled. These metal clasps were tighter and harder to break free from than the ship's wire! "It's messing with my mind. I think. Unless this is all some sort of parallel reality in which I'm just dreaming that all this is—"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down. Enough with the smart-talk." The Robot Devil held up his hands to keep Bender quiet. "I love viruses, and would love to study yours more thoroughly. But in order to do so, you'll have to stay here for a bit. However! If I can examine the virus, I'll also remove it, and put you back to normal! And then you'll commit some stupid crime and end up back here, and all's well that ends well!"

"Hmm," Bender thought about it. He wouldn't see Leela and Fry again for awhile, but he also wouldn't have to deal with these crazy emotions. He was a robot, he wasn't supposed to have emotions! How many times did he have to tell himself that anyway? "You promise you'll remove it?"

"Devil's honor."

"What honor?" Bender snorted, but didn't receive any other response. This was the only way out, wasn't it? "Will you let me go as soon as you're done? No holding me up because of past mistakes?"

The Robot Devil was silent, staring at Bender for a moment. The only movement was his tail, which could never seem to keep still. "You really do need help. Are you saying you'd repent? Quick, we must examine and extract the virus!"

"Oh thank God! I mean Satan!" Bender quickly corrected himself on seeing the Robot Devil's glare. Perhaps there was hope for him! He wouldn't have to suffer with this virus! Trusting the Devil though, should he do it?

Hell, he'd done it before, why not now?


	2. Insert Sweet Loving Here

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter Two: Insert Sweet Loving Here**

First of all, I'd like to thank my reviewers. The Futurama section isn't the most active one I'm in, sadly. I'd like to point out that I didn't have any idea where I was going with this until I rewatched some random episodes today. I must admit, this chapter could push that Teen limit a bit, if you choose to think of it that way.

Well, I've babbled enough. Chapter two.

-+-

"So," Bender commented, now strapped up to a table. This was the second time he'd been strapped to something today, and it was only the fifth time in his life. The first had been for an upgrade, the second for a rogue, on-the-fritz hookerbot, and the third time had been recently, when that virus-chip was stuck into his head and wreaked havoc within his internal wiring. "How exactly do you plan to get this thing outta me?"

The Robot Devil didn't answer at first, instead busying himself over in Bender's blind spot. "Oh don't fear, Bender my dear, everything will turn out wonderfully!"

_Damn, that sounds gay._ Bender thought snidely, but was smart enough to keep from saying it aloud and risk damnation to Robot Hell forever. The first time hadn't even been thirty minutes and it still gave him nightmares. But so did binary code.

"Ah yes! This will do!" The Robot Devil practically pranced into Bender's vision, swinging around his tail in a way that would have caused Bender to raise an eyebrow, if he'd had one. "Alright then, Bender. I've developed a foolproof plan to get this virus out. Foolproof! So even if your stupid fleshy friends came in and tried to save you—err, I mean, stop me—no wait…"

"Get on with it."

"Well anyway, nothing can possibly go wrong." The Robot Devil declared. He finally stopped swinging his tail, revealing that the pointed end was now a standard plug. Bender knew where this was going.

"Whoa, whoa, wait. You're going to—?" He asked, not wanting to finish the question. It couldn't be. That was reserved for hookerbots and fembots only!

The Robot Devil rolled his eyes. "Oh please. I'm the Robot Devil. I'm not even supposed to have a gender!" He chortled, then waltzed over to Bender's other side and jammed his tail into Bender's side-plug, effectively engaging them in robot-to-robot intimacy, in the form of program-merging, that is.

"No!" Bender wailed while the Devil just laughed in every manner of the term 'evil' applicable. "I can't be gay!"

"Already established that," The Robot Devil declared, before all went blank.

-+-

Bender awoke in a world covered in technological material that made no sense to him. Maybe he should have paid more attention in Bending School. "Where…?" Oh wait, he remembered this now. It was the same as that one time that Leela and Fry had forced him to merge his programming with the Planet Express ship! At least he'd gotten out of that one alive. But wait…

"Hello," The Robot Devil greeted him, causing the green holographic image of Bender's head to jump and shriek. "So you're finally up. Are you really not used to this?"

"Hey, it takes all the passion out of the relationship!" Bender protested in his defense. "And besides, you live in hell! How many times could you have possibly have done it? There aren't any women down here!"

A sigh from the Devil, who wasn't just a head and was actually a full figured hologram, "As I said before, I'm a swinger. I'll go either way, so long as I get whatever I want. And in this case, I want that virus!"

"So you're.. vi-sexual?"

This time the Robot Devil groaned and smacked a hand to his head. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say anything." From there, he examined what Bender finally figured out to be his own circuitry and programming. "Yes, yes, not a bad place you have here. But it's very… green." He looked down at his own holographic image and let out an even more effeminate shriek than Bender's. "I'm green too! No!"

"Hah hah." Other peoples' pain put Bender in a good mood. But only for a moment, because the holograph of the Robot Devil kicked his head. "Ow."

The two finally set apart their differences enough to go searching through Bender's hard drive for the virus chip. "Just remember," The Robot Devil warned cheerily, "If any intimate contact is shared between us, I'll engulf you, take over your body, and then attempt to take over the world! But I'll be foiled by something stupid, no doubt." He sighed.

Bender rolled his eyes and kept hopping. "I don't think that'll be much of a problem." After all, why the hell would he want to get intimate with the Robot Devil? Yeah, sure, Bender might have been turned into a gaybot, but he wasn't gay for a fruitcake like the Devil. For a brief moment, Bender wondered about RoboJesus, then figured that he was probably just as much of a fruity bastard. He had to be, after all, he had preached about peace, and had been shut down for other robots sins and whatnot.

"Ah hah!" The Robot Devil's screechy laughter interrupted Bender's religious thoughts. "Here we go. The virus control center."

Sure enough, set up in the middle of Bender's programming was a large rectangular structure. It looked like a super-sized version of the chip the Professor had stuck into his head. "So… how do we shut it off?"

The Robot Devil was now stalking around the virus chip, much like a predatory cat would stalk its prey. "Hmm… interesting…" He muttered to himself, then finally turned to Bender and declared, "I can't remove the chip."

"What!?" Bender interrupted, despondently. "You can't!?"

"No. Now shut up." The Robot Devil reached down to smack Bender's holographic head. "Only you can."

"That's fine, lemme at it!"

"No, no, you silly robot head." He caught Bender's head before he could lunge at the chip. "That's not how it works. You see, this chip is meant to amplify your natural emotions. Like all robots, you've been given some artificial emotions to help you complete your job and not destroy all humans—"

"Damn."

"Will you let me finish?" The Robot Devil dropped Bender's head back onto the ground and continued, "Seems that you were naturally more emotional than other robots. This chip is amplifying all of those emotions. I'm surprised you haven't started bawling for some stupid reason. It's like you're a human woman! Always crying, and eating ice cream!" He laughed. "But yes, the only way to properly fix you is to burn out the chip."

"What?" It was closer to a statement than a question. Bender couldn't believe what he was hearing. To burn out the chip, wouldn't he have to give in to all these ridiculous urges, and feelings, and emotions and whatnot? But he couldn't do that! He was a manbot! A strong manbot who didn't like other manbots or male humans! Definitely not!

"Yes, you'll have to give into your ridiculous urges and feelings and emotions and whatnot." The Robot Devil prattled on, waving his hands about conversationally.

"Are you reading my mind!?" Bender asked, wide-eyed, and wondering what else the Robot Devil had discovered about his inner-most thoughts.

"No." The Robot Devil smirked, if that was even possible. "You were thinking out loud."

Oh. Well Bender felt ridiculous now. "So I just have to burn out the chip, right? But how am I going to do that?" His urges weren't for another robot after all, but for Fry, and Fry only.

A wicked smile lit up the Robot Devil's face, and his fingers immediately went together in an evil steeple shape. "Well now, Bender, I believe I can help you with that. Are you willing… to make a _deal_?"

"No."

"I wasn't finished." Irritated at Bender's interrupted, the Robot Devil continued, "I can give you a human body for twelve hours. If, by that time, you manage to score with Fry, then you can remain human. If not, then I your soul, and I'll confine you to Robot Hell for all eternity!" This was followed by his usual high-pitched laugh, and some random columns of fire.

"Ow, ow, oww, hot!" Bender yelped, his head jumping up and down. The fire, after all, was burning his programming. "But I don't want to be a meatbag! And I don't want to make a deal with you. Last time I lost my crotch-plate, and it took weeks to get a new one!"

"Oh." Now it was the Robot Devil's turn to feel ridiculous. He paused to think about it, tail swishing back and forth. Bender noticed that the tip of the tail wasn't present in this realm, but that was more than likely because it was attached to Bender's metal hip. "Well then, I suppose there isn't any other option." Bender didn't like his tone of voice. It sounded… lecherous. "You'll have to merge your programming with another robot! And since you're a gaybot, it'll have to be a manbot." He started pacing, tail swishing around, adding to the illusion of a stalking predatory cat. "I suppose we could see if any of the other gaybots are free in Hell today, but I doubt that… Hmm…"

In possibly the stupidest decision of his life (second only to letting the Professor install that stupid chip, in his opinion), Bender prompted, "Well, what about you?"

The Robot Devil turned, grinning from horn to horn, as if he'd been waiting for Bender to suggest that. He probably had been. "Well I don't know, I certainly couldn't—Okay."

That didn't take much effort, Bender thought. "So uh, what do we have to do… y'know…?" He wasn't a real gaybot after all, and the pansy of a Devil should know. He played a gold violin for Christbot's sake.

"Easy!" The Robot Devil declared, the proceeded to grab Bender's head and walk over to a small circle in the center of the 'road' they'd been walking on. He jumped through it and suddenly they were back in the Las Vegas version of Robot Hell. "Very easy. All we have to do is—"

"Whoa, no way! There's an exit when you're forced into merging your program with some crazy robot chick?" Bender was fascinated by that rather than getting rid of his gay urges. "Neat!" Now if only he had his camera. And could have taken it into his hard-drive. And could have had a body to take a picture with. Oh well.

The Robot Devil sighed and pressed a hand to his temple. "Can we continue?"

"Oh yeah, sure, go on."

With the flick of a switch, the metal straps holding Bender down were released, and the robot got up, rubbing at his wrists as if they were sore. The Robot Devil eyed his quarry silently, tail swishing back and forth in a way that could only be described as 'eager.' "Now Bender, it may seem scary at first, but you'll have to trust me."

"Yeah, yeah, I let you go in my programming, let's get this over with." Bender didn't move though, and neither did the Robot Devil. The latter was still leering and Bender was still rubbing at his wrists. He finally admitted, "Well, what do you want me to do?" He probably should have waited for the Robot Devil to explain first. After all, he'd never done this sort of thing. And groaning, he realized he'd be on the receiving end.

"Relax, this won't hurt that much." The Robot Devil's smirk didn't disappear for a second. "Now lie down and relax…"

"Hey, wait, is that your antenna? What's it doing down there—Oh your god!"

-+-

"Didn't hurt, my ass." Bender grumbled. His circuitry was _not_ meant for what it had been put through. Sparks were still coming out from various places all over his metal body, particularly from the slot in his head where that chip had been inserted. He hoped it was busted, but knew it wasn't. After all, those feelings still lingered.

But that was the best news of all this dire situation. Because now those feelings weren't just for Fry anymore. As loathe as he was to admit it, Bender was torn in two. He didn't just like a meatbag anymore. He also liked a sleazy, conniving little bastard of a Devil.

"Damn you, Farnsworth! If I ever see you again, I'll kill you so many times you _stay_ dead! And none of that 'pushing up daises' crap either!"


	3. Trapped Forever, Here in Robot Hell

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot ****  
****Chapter Three:** **Trapped Forever, Here in Robot Hell (Only Not Really)**

Once again, thank you for the reviews! This chapter was harder to write than the previous one, so please forgive anything that doesn't really make sense. Then again, most of this fic hasn't made any sense…

-+-

Bender must have passed out, or drifted off into a mode resembling the organic creature's 'sleep'. This mode happened every night to conserve energy, but never before had Bender experienced the feeling of exhaustion. He understood why Fry laid around all day now.

Anyway, he was awoken by a distinct rise in temperature around him, particularly in the region of his ass. "Owowow, hot hot hot!" Bender yelped, jumping up and attempting to fan the flames away from his ass.

The Robot Devil, who was obviously the culprit, laughed maniacally. "Well that certainly was fun! Now then, let's check on that chip's progress, shall we?"

"You can do that?" Bender asked, flaming ass temporarily forgotten.

"Well of course I can." The Devil scoffed. "I'm the Robot Devil, I can do anything! Except defeat my sworn nemesis, Godbot." For a moment that typical relaxed and cunning manner was dropped for a look of pure hatred, and then everything was back to normal, and Bender remembered his ass was still burning.

"Ow! Ow! Owowowow!"

"I didn't know robots could make that noise!" The Robot Devil laughed, swinging his tail around.

-+-

"Bad news everyone, Bender is missing!"

"Yes, Professor. We just discussed that." Leela sighed and rested her head in her hand. They'd spent two extra days in Vegas searching for the third wheel, but he'd disappeared. He wasn't in any bars or floozy houses that Leela could find, and Fry had searched the library, of all places. Who knew Vegas even _had_ a library? "Now can you tell us whether or not there's even a _slight_ chance of finding him?"

The Professor remained quiet at the head of the table until Hermes elbowed him. "Uhwah?" He asked, adjusting his glasses. "Oh yes! Bender. We can find him by tracking him using this metal tracking device I just created!" The Professor stood up and held out a regular South-and-North Pole magnet. "It's pure genius, I tell you. That'll put those young whipper-snappers in their place—" Before he could finish, all the metals in the house suddenly attached themselves to the magnet. "Oh, my back!"

"So much for that." Fry had really thought the Professor's invention was genius too. It would have found Bender, if only there wasn't so much damn metal around. "Well now what?"

Hermes punched in a few numbers in his calculator, then gasped. "My god! If we, hypothetically, didn't find Bender, then we'd be makin' one hell of a profit in this company!"

Gasps were heard all around, and Zoidberg's exclamation of, "Yay! More money for Zoidberg!" was ignored as usual.

"But… that would mean…" Fry pondered aloud, weighing the consequences, "…that we'd never see Bender again!"

"Oh my no," The Professor finished shoving the last of the metal off him, though it remained stuck tight to the magnet. "We could get a new robot that wouldn't charge us anything!"

Leela frowned. "What does that have to do with not seeing Bender?"

"I have no idea!" The Professor declared, then sat back down in his chair. "Time for a nap!" And with that, the chair hovered out of the room, leaving the remaining employees speechless.

"He's crazier than a snake in the sugarcane factory." Hermes shook his head.

"What does that mean anyway?" Amy asked, but she was ignored as the others tried to think of a solution to this conundrum. How were they going to find Bender, and then fire him to make a profit? Or maybe they could cut his salary for this…?

-+-

"You sure this'll get me back home?"

"Well of course I'm sure. I'm always sure!"

"Uh huh…" Bender wasn't convinced. Following what appeared to be an old, non-hovercraft train line back to New Jersey didn't seem like the smartest idea. He'd done stupider things before, but that was before this damn chip actually made him _think_. Now he had to think about what could possibly happen to him instead of just doing it. He really hated that damn chip. That Professor was pending for a bending alright.

"Trust me," The Robot Devil crooned. "I think I would know how to get to Jersey Hell and back."

"Then come with me." The retort wasn't supposed to sound like that. Bender would have winced had he the capacity to do so. Instead, he cringed away from the Robot Devil's full-body grin. Was it even possible to do that? Apparently so.

"Wonderful!" With that, the Robot Devil clamped a hand onto Bender's head and started dragging him off down the old train line. "We're off to Jersey!"

"Oh no, please no singing!"

"Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em…"

-+-

"Leela, I've been thinking." Fry started, sitting on the bench while Leela examined her locker for a missing watch.

"Oh? Did it hurt?" She responded sarcastically. Fry just set himself up for these things, after all.

"Well, a little." Fry admitted, causing Leela to sigh. "We have to find Bender. Deliveries just won't be the same without him!"

She took a moment to look around the locker at Fry. It was funny, he'd always chased after her, and then the moment when he almost had her, something else came up to occupy him. "Fry, I know he's your best friend, but there's nothing we can do. We searched everywhere and couldn't find him."

"Well maybe he went off somewhere! There aren't any anti-pimping laws in Vegas!"

"There aren't?" That was news to Leela. "Do you think he would have? No, don't answer that. He'd do anything for a quick buck." Another sigh. Bender, that crazy robot. He was giving her a headache. "Alright, let's go back and look for him."

"Hooray!" Fry cheered, jumping up. Leela noticed that he looked much happier now. They were best friends, she told herself. And Bender was anti-robosexual. But Fry…

-+-

The horrible awkward feeling that he had first noticed around Fry had returned about halfway through the trip. The Robot Devil hadn't noticed anything was amiss (was he as dense as Fry?) and was still humming the violin (fiddle?) part to that obnoxious song. Bender wasn't fond of music in general (except folk, but no one could ever know that!) so why the hell was the Robot Devil so interested in it? Pardon the pun.

"You see that?" The Robot Devil's humming abruptly stopped as they passed by something Bender had never seen before. It looked like one of the monorail trains currently used, but far older, and larger, and rather ridiculously shaped. "That's one of the original trains. This track never actually ran from Vegas to Jersey, but a little of my Hellians' digging certainly got it that way!" The Robot Devil laughed, and Bender was willing to bet he hadn't helped at all.

"Huh." It wasn't that interesting, and Bender didn't have anything to say back, for once. All the comebacks he thought of would sound stupid, after all.

"You're awfully quiet." The remark was biting, enticing Bender to say something back. The Robot Devil was even looking at him expectantly, but Bender merely shrugged in response. "That chip must really be messing with your circuits. I mean, _really_." He shook his head, as if he couldn't believe it, then burst out laughing as flames randomly shot up behind him.

"Do you have to do that?" Bender managed to escape with his ass intact this time, but didn't look where he was going and slammed straight into a second, newer version of that train. Even though it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, he was knocked unconscious.

-+-

There was a ringing noise echoing around Bender's normally hollow head when he finally woke. The first thing he noticed in his vision was _red_. And a lot of it. Frowning, or rather, what could pass as a robot's frown, Bender sat up slightly, only to smack headfirst into the sea of red.

"Ow," Said a voice above him, though it didn't sound like it was in any pain. "Didn't realize you were awake."

Bender placed it as the Robot Devil's voice as the ringing died down. He realized he'd been laying on the track, tampering with his hearing chip. Stupid older metals, messing with his head. "Uh… what happened?"

The Robot Devil got up from his position, kneeling over Bender. "Well…" He dragged the word out in a nearly playful manner. "You ran straight into the old metro train and knocked yourself out. I didn't even think that was _possible_." He laughed, but luckily for Bender, no fire shot out from the ground. "But you seem to be okay now."

"Yeah, but my ass hurts." He complained. Glancing up, Bender noticed the Robot Devil's toothy smirk. "Oh no you didn't…!"

"No, I really didn't. I just wanted to mess with you!" The Robot Devil laughed again, then pulled Bender up and started walking off again. He pulled out the golden fiddle (fixed since Leela last smacked it into his head) from his well-hidden chest cavity and quickly tuned it, followed by some sort of overture that managed to keep Bender's interest for once.

"Wow, you can walk and play that crazy thing at the same time?" Bender couldn't even drink and walk at the same time! Well, he could, but not without spilling.

"You could say I'm programmed to be capable of it." The Robot Devil commented, producing a third arm from his back, equipped with a second bow. "But not really. I was created a long time ago, but the hardware they gave me allows me to learn, sort of like a human."

"So… you're a metal meatbag?"

"Kind of." The Robot Devil went back to playing, leaving Bender in some sort of awe. Was it really possible for a robot to learn? Bender never seemed to, after all. He knew what he had learned at Bending University, and that was about it.

It was at that moment that Bender realized it. Leela wasn't the only one with a thing for musicians. It made sense now; why he'd been able to keep quiet and still during Fry's opera, and why he'd been able to listen to that meatbag practice the holophoner, even when he sucked. He still did, and he still practiced, and Bender _still_ listened. "Oh crap," He grumbled to himself, unheard by the Robot Devil walking a few steps ahead of him. "They're more alike then I'd hoped."


	4. Oh, the Drama!

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter Four: Oh, the Drama!**

Thank you, as always, for the reviews. Usually it takes me forever to update multi-chapter fics, but this one has captured and held my attention hostage. The ransom is too high to pay, so I'll just keep writing until I finish it. Somehow. As a side note, I don't have a clear ending in mind yet. I mean, I sort of have one, but not really. You know. Or not. Anyway, rambling aside, here's your next chapter.

-+-

"Well _you_ seem awfully quiet." The Robot Devil chided playfully. Bender had drifted off into silence awhile back, and while he had been more interested in playing his gold violin, it was getting a bit boring. Unfortunately, the Robot Devil hadn't been given a very good attention span chip. "Something wrong?"

"No." Bender immediately responded, earning a look he couldn't quite make out. Probably skepticism, but such emotions were difficult to see on a robot. Difficult to understand as well. Hmm.

The Robot Devil put away the fiddle and continued walking a few steps ahead of Bender, leaving the two in silence for a little while. It was an overbearing, awkward silence rather than the peaceful one of hell. Then again, Robot Hell was always filled with the screams of the tortured, but hell, they deserved it. Pardon the pun. "Well anyway, Jersey Hell is right up ahead here. There's only one other thing…" He paused as he reached a sudden end of the tunnel, and Bender joined him on the ledge.

Below them lay a river of green ooze, surrounded by dark and decaying houses. The streets, also dark and decaying, were quiet save but a few creatures shuffling around across them. It would have looked like the mutant's underground back home, but instead, these things weren't even remotely humanoid. "What is it?" Bender finally asked, lowering his voice a decimal or two.

"Mutants." The Robot Devil answered, his voice surprisingly grave. "As you well know, Jersey became nothing but a toxic waste dump in 2409, and has been used as such ever since. These mutants _used_ to be humans."

"Ew," Bender remarked, leaning over to get a better look. He telescoped one of his eyes to see a dark green scaled mutant, looking more like a lizard than a human. The general anatomy was similar—in that it had a head, a body, and some limbs, granted it had twelve rather than four… "Wait, where do we go from here?" His eye shot back into place and he looked around for the rest of the tunnel they'd been following. Nothing. Then again, he wasn't programmed to see in the dark, so maybe he was just missing it? They didn't have to go through the mutants' town, did they?

The Robot Devil didn't give Bender a straight answer. Instead, he just pointed down in the direction of the green slime. "There used to be more of this tunnel, but it's been blocked off by massive backups of sewage. Jersey was also used as New New York's garbage disposal in the early twenty-first century."

While Bender was curious how the Robot Devil knew all this, he didn't ask. There were other things to attend to, after all. Like sneaking through the mutants' town to get the hell out of here. But wait! The Robot Devil had to have gone through here at least once, to get to Vegas Hell, right? So hopefully he knew a way around and away from the mutants. While Bender didn't like organic creatures, he could understand them (or at least have a grasp at their existence). But mutants were so different and confusing, and they always wanted to kill him for splashing sludge down there on top of them. Please, like they didn't like it. "So, uh, how do we plan on gettin' past all these freaks?"

Unfortunately, Bender's voice carried far enough for one of the 'freaks' to hear. A loud howl was heard, sounding to Bender like some sort of wounded animal attempting to gnaw its own leg off, or something like that. Bender wasn't too good with animal sounds. He had broken that stupid toy Leela had bought him with the stupid animals sounds. _The buggalo says "Moo,"_ and all that stuff. The only one he did know was the spiceweasel. The spiceweasel says "Bam!" No wait, that was Elzar.

"Hello," The Robot Devil was waving a hand in front of Bender's face, causing the other robot to jump. "We're still in a bit of trouble, so daydream later."

"Right, right." They were boned, weren't they? The creature—this one a mix of fur and flesh in a way that Bender righteously considered 'disgusting'—was now charging up the near-vertical slope to get at them. "I've never been happier to be a robot." He commented.

"It's not going to help much." The Robot Devil remarked idly, leaning over a bit to watch the mutant charge up at them. "They aren't that dumb. See, I kind of brought a huge army through here one time, and they shut them all off. They're good at finding off switches."

"Oh." A long pause and the only sound that could be heard was the panting of the strange dog-creature. "We're boned."

Another wounded howl sounded and the mesh of flesh and fur leaped over the two robots, positioning them with their backs to the ledge. Bender felt some of it crumble away as he attempted to take a step back. He let out a rather feminine shriek and latched himself to the Robot Devil's arm. Oh if only they had fire! …Wait…

Almost as soon as Bender had considered that option, flames burst up all around them, causing the ground to shake and groan, but not quite give way. The Robot Devil lightly shook Bender off his arm. "The fire startles them, but these mutants must have lost their sense of fear. We'll have to run for it."

"Why don't you just burn him?" Bender asked, still lingering close to the Robot Devil, and shrieking again as more of the ground tumbled to the sea of ooze below.

"Because," The Robot Devil sighed in frustration, "I'm only programmed with a background in flame technology. I can't just shoot flames wherever I want! They can only come up around me, and typically in a half-circle, occasionally a line."

Now would be a good time to tell him to forget the programming, but Bender didn't get a chance to. The ground caved completely this time, causing him to lose his footing. He slipped down with a scream, but was surprised when he didn't feel himself hit the nasty-looking green goo. Instead, the Robot Devil's extended arms had caught him, keeping him just high enough above the mutants below to keep him safe. Bender glanced up and saw the dog-man approaching, only to get socked in the face by the Robot Devil's third arm. That was a convenient weapon. Bender wondered how much it would cost to get a third arm installed.

A loud growl notified Bender that he had company. The mutants below him were beginning to form an angry mob, and Bender didn't like the looks of this one. "Uh, hey, you wanna pull me up now?" He asked nervously, tugging on one of the red arms. "Otherwise, I'm boned."

The Robot Devil's response went unheard, but the message was too clear. Instead of pulling Bender back up to safety, he tossed Bender over the heads of the mob. With a loud _crash_, Bender landed several feet away. "Crap." He remarked, before turning and sprinting for his life. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" He picked it up as his personal mantra, surprised that he was keeping ahead of the mutants. That didn't mean he'd lost them though, for if he'd had a tail, they would have been right on it.

Then suddenly something appeared, a light. Bender had never been happier to see the light of day. He found the ladder and quickly scaled it, not at all surprised as the mutants stopped. They probably melted if they went in sunlight, or something ridiculous like that. "Hah hah, suckers!" He waved, and opened up the manhole, appearing somewhere in the midst of trash-filled Jersey.

It was only then that he thought to look for the Robot Devil. It wasn't right to just leave him there, though when had Bender ever had a sense of right and wrong? Morals hadn't been installed yet, and the reminders were wearing thin. Oh well, Bender still didn't want morals. But this was something that felt different than just a moral obligation. Not that he knew what one felt like, but the point remained. The Robot Devil had saved his life.

There were two things wrong with that sentence. One, Bender had never expected his life to be put on the line. He was a robot, after all, much tougher than any organic being. Two, _the Robot Devil had saved his life_. Why would he save anyone's life? It didn't make any sort of sense to him. He wanted to know why though. He had to know why.

Maybe he could have left. He probably could have found his way back to New New York. But instead, Bender sat at the top of the manhole, waiting for the Robot Devil to surface and complain about the sludge, or something. But hours passed and still nothing. Bender looked down in the manhole again, but all he could see was the green slime and the rungs of the ladder. A terrible thought struck him—what if he's dead?

"But it's not my fault," Bender immediately protested to himself. "He saved me, but he died, that's not my fault…" He wasn't buying it. Oh no, guilt sensors overload! When the hell did he even _have_ guilt sensors? Nevertheless, he knew what he had to do. Part of him didn't want to, and the other part knew it was the only right thing to do. He blamed that damn chip, making him loyal and all.

With a splash, Bender landed in the green goo. It was probably more potent than the one in the sewers of New New York, but that didn't affect Bender any. How long had it been since he'd escaped the sewers? Three hours, twenty-two minutes, and four seconds, he counted. Okay, he still had a bit of time. Robots, if left off for a long enough period of time, shut down completely and were rendered inactive. That was why Bender was rarely turned off, and usually only by Leela, because she was a jerk. "Just gotta find him and get out, find him and get out…" Bender repeated, sneaking as quietly as he could back into the town.

For once things were tipped in his favor. The mutants had all disappeared, leaving the streets quiet and desolate. That was fine, Bender liked desolate. But where the hell was the Robot Devil? Again, pardon the pun. It would be stupid to call out for him, considering the fact that he'd probably been shut off by now. Bender gave him five hours tops. If he could survive longer than that while shut off, then he had to be Godbot.

A loud _clank_ alerted Bender to someone nearby, but before he could raid his chest cavity for a weapon of some sort (didn't he have King Arther's sword hidden in there? That would explain the pain in his leg!) he caught sight of just what he was looking for. The Robot Devil was several feet away, eyes open but blank, a sure sign of deactivation. Unlike Bender, he didn't possess the patented Eyeguards that covered Bender's eyes in sleep, or in deactivation, he'd imagine. He'd never actually seen himself deactivated, so how would he know? Now wasn't the time to consider that though, he had to grab the Robot Devil and get out of here, faster than an ice cube out of hell. Unless it was the December-to-March season, where Robot Hell was frozen over.

There were mutants surrounding him from the back, one of them slamming a hammer pointlessly against the Robot Devil's right horn. That's what the clanking noise was, but it also meant more of a hassle for Bender. How was he supposed to get over there, grab the Robot Devil, and run? Ugh, so much work! So he just extended his arms, dragged the Robot Devil over, and sprinted for his life, again. "Damn, you're heavy!" He whined to the deactivated prince of darkness.

The ladder posed another problem. How was he supposed to get up while carrying the Robot Devil? Bender didn't have time to think though, that dog-man kept snapping at the Robot Devil's tail. Bender freed one of his arms and extended it, pulling himself up as a crocodile (alligator? What was the difference between them anyway?) mutant attempted to snap his ass off. "I never said you could bite my ass!"

Finally he settled back down outside the manhole, with the Robot Devil intact, apparently. Now then, where was that button? Bender searched around the Robot Devil's metal exterior before realizing that the only obvious place would be in his circuits. Bender's was, after all. It just so happened to be connected to the inside of him as well. "Alright, so just gotta figure out how this comes off…" He mumbled to himself, searching for the opening to the Robot Devil's chest cavity. After several failed attempts, Bender was almost ready to give up. But… he couldn't. The Robot Devil had saved him, he had to return the favor, at least so the guilt wouldn't weight him down as much.

There was another reason, of course. One he'd been ignoring this whole time. He was scared. He didn't _want_ the Robot Devil to deactivate permanently. He… cared about him. And that was saying the absolute _least_. Bender groaned as his own analysis of the situation and finally found the side clip that released the chest cavity's opening. Inside was the golden fiddle, as expected, about a thousand brochures for Robot Hell, and several matches. He probably was a pyromaniacbot. A lot of the older robots had been, until they'd been shut off. How old was the Robot Devil anyway?

_Click._

A loud noise alerted Bender that he'd found the on and off switch, for a whirring noise started up and the Robot Devil's eyes flittered into appearance. "What…?" He asked, and Bender detected quite a bit of pain in just that single word.

"Well, I managed to get out of the sewers, but you didn't, so I had to go back for you, and damn I thought we were boned." He admitted, sitting back as the Robot Devil managed to sit up. His recuperation was slower than Bender would have imagined.

"Ah…" The Robot Devil nodded, which earned a look of pain. "I don't believe… all my circuits have… reconnected yet." He moved a little more, as if to stand, but couldn't quite make it up.

Bender helped him, noticing that the Robot Devil's legs still weren't responding properly. Odd, was he such an old model that it took this long just to get back up to running speed? "But we're good now, so…" He stopped. The next words were what he wanted to say, but in a way, couldn't. _Let's go home._ Home. What an odd word for a robot. Did a robot truly ever have a home in a society where he was expected to serve humans? Enough psycho-mumbo-jumbo. The point was, 'home' for him was different than from the Robot Devil. If he returned home, he wouldn't see the Robot Devil again. Maybe not ever. That was a lie, he knew he was going to Robot Hell anyway.

While the Robot Devil struggled to get his legs to cooperate, Bender wondered what it would be like if he _didn't_ go back to Planet Express. He'd miss Fry, maybe even Leela, but that was about it. He didn't like the others after all. He tolerated them, sure but certainly didn't like them. Especially the Professor! Giving him that damn chip… and Zoidberg! He just hated Zoidberg in general, there was no real reason behind it. But what if he didn't go back?

But… he couldn't do that. Fry was his best friend, and he really cared about him. Besides, Fry didn't have the key to the apartment. "I guess… I guess I have to go back."

"That's the whole point of this expedition after all." The Robot Devil agreed amicably, his voice back to normal at least. "Unfortunately, I seem to have lost control over my legs. I can point you in the right direction, but I'm afraid I'd be of limited use otherwise." While he said it in the usual jovial tone, Bender knew it wasn't what it was supposed to sound like. If Bender had lost control over any part of his mechanical body, he'd be scrapped in an instant. Maybe the same wasn't quite true for the Robot Devil, but that feeling of uselessness, _that_ was the same.

The light bulb clicked on just then. What if Bender brought the Robot Devil back with him? Maybe the Professor could do something right for once and fix the Robot Devil's legs? That would give him more time to decide what to do about this strange situation as well. To get rid of that chip, he'd have to burn it out. And with both Fry and the Robot Devil around, that should be easier to do. Yes, it was brilliant. Every one of Bender's ideas were brilliant though.

"Why don't you come with me? Farnsworth's an idiot, but he's pretty smart." Bender's statement earned a blank stare from the Robot Devil. "And no, it's not ironic."

"You beat me to it." The Robot Devil admitted with a laugh.

"Anyway," Bender continued, "you could get your legs fixed." He didn't mention anything else that was racing through his processors. Those were going to be kept secret thoughts.

A critical moment passed, and then the Robot Devil nodded. "Very well. It won't hurt, I would assume. I can't walk though." He warned Bender, who shrugged, nearly causing the Robot Devil to topple over. "Don't do that! I'm leaning on you for support!"

"Sorry," Bender would have shrugged again, just to irritated the Robot Devil, but luckily managed to keep that urge in check. "Let's go home." He finally felt comfortable saying it.


	5. Home Sweet Go To 10

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter Five: Home Sweet Go To 10**

Once again, thanks for all the nice reviews! I thought this fic would only be five chapters at the beginning, but it's proving me wrong. Ten chapters max, I promise. I love long fanfics, but I tend to forget about them, or lose interest. Luckily, that hasn't happened yet, though I am currently addicted to FFTA2 rather than Futurama… Someone stop me.

Anyway, continue leaving me reviews and I'll continue writing! Not that it's a thinly veiled threat, or anything.

-+-

The television usually would have kept her attention, but Leela found herself more concerned with Fry's strange behavior. Bender hadn't been found yet (if ever, she reminded herself, and tried to play it off as if she wasn't _that_ excited about the prospect), and Fry was taking it rather harshly. They were best friends, after all. That didn't mean he had to mope about it. "Fry, you're blocking the TV."

"Oh, sorry." Fry mumbled, and moved out of the way so Leela could watch a rerun of _All My Circuits_. It was a decent show, but it had really gone downhill after season eight. Anyway, Fry continued to linger about, and Leela sighed.

"What is it, Fry?" She finally asked, which seemed to be what he was waiting for. "You've been moping for days. Bender will return if he wants to. It's not like we can drag him back anyway."

"But we could use the ship's giant magnet!" Fry protested. Leela hadn't realized he was taking it _that_ hard. Everyone knew how much Bender hated magnets, after all. "I just… I thought we were friends. I just wish I knew what caused him to run away…"

Well that seemed obvious, Leela thought. She didn't open her mouth though, figuring that it wouldn't help Fry's downtrodden mood any. And if there was one thing she hated, it was dealing with a moping Fry. And people making fun of her eye. "Well, you never know. He could be on his way back here right now…"

-+-

"Do you mind? Your elbow's in my crotch."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

"Hey, isn't that the Planet Express building?"

Bender glanced up and let out a meek, "Oh." After a lot of pushing, shoving, dragging, and arguing, the two robots had made their way back somehow. Bender felt a surge of the emotion 'happiness' at seeing the building. It felt like he'd been away forever, though naturally it hadn't been that long. He'd just been through more than he had for, well, quite a while. He was used to doing nothing and watching television, after all. "Here we are." The two paused at the doorstep. Bender wasn't sure if he would be allowed back. After all, he had run off on his own in Vegas. What if they didn't let him back?

"Well?" The Robot Devil prompted, finally reaching around Bender and hitting the doorbell. The loud chimes echoed through the building, and a tense minute passed before the doors finally slid open.

"Go away! We don't want whatever you're selling! Even if it is those amazing vacuum bags…" Professor Farnsworth rambled, adjusting his glasses a moment later. "Oh, my. Bender!"

"Glad you recognized me." Bender scoffed, pushing his way in, and nearly dropping the Robot Devil, earning him a few choice words from the robotic prince of darkness. "Hey jerkbags, I'm home!"

There was immediately a flurry of activity as the Planet Express crew assembled to greet Bender. Zoidberg was first, appearing from underneath a pile of dirty laundry in the corner of the kitchen, making a joyful wooping noise. "Hooray! Zoidberg can now have more of the robot's cooking! A feast is in order, good friends!"

He was ignored, and next in was Hermes. "Bender, mon! I was hoping you wouldn't come back, so we wouldn't have to pay you—err, I mean, welcome back!"

Following him was Amy and Leela who both gave cheerful greetings, and Leela added in an undertone, "Fry's been taking it pretty hard. Try not to upset him even more, alright?" She didn't add, _otherwise, I'll have to take care of him._

Finally, Bender's favorite meatbag showed his face, and Fry stared blankly at Bender for a moment. "You're back?"

"Yup." Bender replied awkwardly. Everyone was silent for a moment before robot and human embraced in a totally not-gay hug. Totally. Completely. Moving on.

"Ow!" The Robot Devil exclaimed from his place on the floor, where he'd been dropped when Bender abandoned him for Fry. "Can someone help me up? My legs still aren't properly functioning, sadly."

This earned a lot of stares, most of which were directed toward Bender. "Care to explain why you brought _him_ home?" Leela asked, pointing at the Robot Devil.

"How rude!"

"Well…" Bender started, drawing back from Fry's hug, though the human remained attached to the robot. "It's a long story. I might just write it out and sell it as a book one of these days." Not really. As if he'd ever want anyone to know about all that happened? Hah, hilarious.

The excuse seemed to fly, for mostly everyone went back to what they'd previously been doing—"Zoidberg! Stop eating my bras!"—and Bender finally freed himself from Fry's grasp to pull the Robot Devil back upright.

"How kind," The Robot Devil's voice all but dripped with sarcasm. "Now then, Professor Farnsworth…" He paused, looking at Fry curiously for a moment, then finally turned his gaze to the old man. "Oh! You."

"Hmm? Oh my, yes," The Professor muttered, nodding a bit more than necessary."

"You don't remember me?" The Robot Devil's tone now conveyed hurt accurately, as he pressed a hand to his chest, expression mocking his tone. "I would have thought I would have been one of your more memorable projects…"

"Wait." Leela spread out her hands as if she were a referee, trying to figure out what the Robot Devil was implying. "The Professor… he worked on you?"

"Correct!" The Robot Devil declared, stabbing a finger in the air decisively. "Over a hundred years ago, before Mom's Corporation was the household name it is now, Mom was just a lonely woman attempting to rule the world. Farnsworth was working for her, and together, they created a robot 'devil' prototype. They were supposed to create an army of them, but I suppose they lost funding." He shrugged. "What can I say? I'm one of a kind."

Leela's jaw dropped, and Fry stated, "I'm bored. Bender, let's go watch TV. You've missed a new episode of _Hypnotoad_!"

"What, no way!" The robot and human left, the former once again dropping the Robot Devil on the floor.

"Oh, the agony!"

Leela pulled the Robot Devil upright, staggering a bit at the robot's weight. "Alright. Explain. The Professor created you? Why didn't he tell us?"

"Uh… wha?" The Professor asked. "Who are you? Where am I? What day is it?" With that, he tottered off to go take his daily nap.

The Robot Devil emitted what had to be a sigh. "Yes, yes, he created me. Big deal. The point is, my programming isn't quite up to date, and my legs have stopped working. I need him to fix me. That's why I'm here. As soon as my legs function again, I'll return to Robot Hell and leave you all alone. Unless, of course, you need to make a deal again, but this time, no switching hands! I've had enough with those fleshy sausages!"

Once he was done pontificating, Leela nodded a bit, as if she'd been paying attention. "Right. What did you say you needed again?"

"My legs fixed." The Robot Devil stated. No one ever listened, did they?

"Sure, right, we can get that done." Leela found supporting a robot to be far harder than expected. Especially up the three flights of stairs that took them to the Professor's workroom…

-+-

"Man, this is great." Fry was in a much better mood, sprawled out on the couch and watching television in his underwear, while Bender hummed away, cooking in the kitchen. A kitchen, in a robot's apartment? Well, it had to be done. Humans needed food at weird times anyway.

"Sure is good to be home." Bender added happily. If there was one good thing about that chip—and there wasn't—then it had to be the fact that he could feel emotions easier than before. So now, he really did understand what happiness was. And he was happy. There was, however, a nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. Perhaps the fact that the Robot Devil was still upstairs in the Planet Express office. Yeah… that was a bit awkward.

He hadn't said anything though. That struck Bender as odd. Why wouldn't the Robot Devil gleefully tell everyone in sight of all the sins that Bender had committed? Did he forget? Maybe it wasn't all that important to him? Or maybe he really didn't think it wise to tell them? Hmm. Bender was confused, but he wasn't about to question it. If he was lucky for once, then fine, he'd accept that with arms wide open.

"Bender, that popcorn almost done?"

"Popcorn? Oh yeah, sure is." Bender turned back to the stove and frowned. Now why wasn't the corn popping yet? He wondered if he needed to pour in more water, or boil it more. So he did both.

_Boom._

"Uh… forget the popcorn, Fry. I kind of blew up the kitchen."


	6. A Challenger Approaches, Again

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter Six: A Challenger Approaches, Again**

Well, I was going to wait longer for this chapter, but I couldn't help it. Since I finished FFTA2 I can't help but spend my time at my "job" (long story, in short, it's four easy hours of nothing, for less than minimum wage. Oh well.) daydreaming about this fic. Insert emo emoticon here.

As a side note, I got fanart! Not by me, actually, but by a reviewer, MissusPatches. I will (probably) link to said arts in my profile eventually, but you can find her deviantart link in her profile. Go view them, damn you.

Side note: This chapter is really short. I apologize, but it ended earlier than I expected it to. Eh.

Anyway, here you go. Chapter six.

-+-

_Crack!_

"Oh holy fires of hell! You broke my knee!"

"Stop being a baby, you silly robot!"

Fry turned the volume up on the television until the screams from the laboratory upstairs were blocked out. "Ah, much better." He yelled over the sound of _Hypnotoad_. It was a rerun, but even reruns were better than actually doing work.

"Much," Bender agreed in a shout, pulling out a few beers from his chest cavity and offering one to Fry.

Leela arrived in the room, and immediately covered her ears. "Turn it down!" She shouted at the two of them, fumbling for the remote and finally silencing the show. "You'll go deaf!" She chastised.

"What did you say?" Fry asked, cupping a hand to his ear, earning a laugh from Bender.

With a sigh, Leela shoved Fry aside to sit between human and robot. "We haven't had a delivery in a while. I'm a bit worried. What if we go out of business?"

"You still have your old career chips." Bender offered. He could probably go hide out somewhere and sell bootleg movies or something. He wasn't going back to bending girders for suicide booths. That was… well, it was one of the few things that bothered Bender. Thankfully, no one had ever asked why.

"So what should we do today?" Fry asked, wriggling a finger in his ear to get his hearing back. "Any new movies out?"

"Just _Star Wars Eighty One: Attack of the DNA Mutants_, and _Harry Potter and the Ridiculously Long Quest for the Stone of Eternal Ending_, or some crap like that." Bender handed Fry the listings in the paper and kicked his legs up on the coffee table. "Nothing interesting. We could go looting, though there's no imminent world disaster, so that's out…"

"What about a walk through the park?" Leela asked, which only earned her blank stares. "Well, I did hear from Amy that there's this guy who runs through there shirtless every day…"

"But Leela!" Fry immediately protested, latching onto her arm. "What does any other man have that I don't? I could run shirtless through a park and you wouldn't even notice!"

Bender got up and made some lame excuse to leave the room, but neither of them were paying any attention anyway. "Stupid meatbags… stupid emotions…" He muttered angrily. Why did Fry do this to him? It had been a blissful day, when he hadn't said anything involving his undying love for Leela. But why? Why did he love her? What did she have that Bender didn't? Actually, that was fairly obvious, from a technical standpoint.

His wandering ended up outside the Planet Express ship, and Bender sat down at the round table with a sigh. What was he supposed to do now? If Fry still loved Leela as much as he said he did, then there was no hope of Bender persuading him otherwise, was there? And if he couldn't break the chip, he'd be stuck like this forever. It was a cruel catch-22 if he ever saw one. No, it was worse than that, it was a catch-23.

"Bender!" The robot turned to see the Robot Devil saunter in, legs apparently working properly. "The Professor has lost it. Why haven't you euthanized him yet?" He didn't mean the fancy spa treatment either. "Anyway, I seem to be working just fine and—What's wrong with you?"

It was odd that the Robot Devil would be the first to notice that something was wrong, but then again, he was the first one to see Bender like this. Not to mention the fact that they were both robots, and could easily understand one another's emotions (or lack of thereof) easier than any human could. "Nothing." Bender shrugged it off. As if he was spilling his deep dark secrets to the Robot Devil twice? Hah! "Aren't you going back to Robot Hell?"

"Hmm? Oh yes." The Robot Devil nodded, but didn't move from his spot on the floor. As always, only his tail continued moving.

"The door's right there."

"Oh, I know."

Bender crossed his arms and waited silently, initiating staring contest mode with the Robot Devil. Technically, robots had no reason to blink, but it was one of those things that Bender tended to do. Hanging around with organic creatures had caused him to pick up some strange traits. He blinked first, seeing as how the Robot Devil rarely closed his eyes at all, but neither said anything. It was definitely that awkward silence, and Bender figured he'd just wait for the Robot Devil to explain why he was still here.

Many long minutes passed, with Zoidberg entering and devouring several bag lunches in the refrigerator, though the robots couldn't care less. With a "Whoopwhoopwhoop!" Zoidberg scampered out as Hermes chased him off with a broom. The robots remained stationary and silent.

Amy entered not long later, and found her cell phone, immediately calling Kif and having a long (and rather boring) conversation with him, while the robots ignored her as well. After her was Zoidberg again, raiding the refrigerator for a second time, though this time the Professor arrived and shot at him with a stun gun. Once again, they were ignored.

"Bender, did you get deactivated again?" Fry asked, munching on a half-eaten sandwich. He must have arrived at some point as well, and Bender jumped a little at the sudden interruption.

"Hah, I win." The Robot Devil declared happily, straightening back up and folding his arms, striking an oddly sultry pose for a robot. Then again, he was one of the only robots capable of shifting his hips independently of his chest.

Bender ignored him, instead turning his attention to Fry. "Say, skintube, what do you think of having another roommate?"

"What?" Fry asked, and the Robot Devil echoed. The former's expression was of confusion, the latter of devilish (pardon the pun) joy.

"Well," Bender started, a bit awkwardly, "he sort of helped me out of a tough situation in the Jersey sewers, and he might malfunction again…"

"Oh, him!" Fry gestured to the Robot Devil and then nodded. "Sure! I thought you were going to ask Calculon to move in with you again, or something. Or Elzar."

"You still think they'd say no?" Bender asked curiously, and made a mental note to go interrogate—err, _question_—them again.

The Robot Devil shifted a little, as if to remind them that he was still there. "I'd graciously take your offer. Besides, the trip back to Hell is a bit long, and I'd rather be sure of my legs' stability." It was a very weak excuse, and both robots knew it.

"Sounds good!" Fry didn't, however. He was blissfully unaware, and perhaps that was for the best. "But where's he going to sleep? Is there another room in your closet, Bender?"

"He lives in your closet?" The Robot Devil asked, confused. "Why would anyone want to live in a _closet_?"

"He's a human. They're weird." Bender offered as an answer, and shrugged. Fry shook his head in response. "Anyway, I guess we'll head there after 'work'." He made quotes in the air with his fingers, mainly because 'work' involved watching television, and ignoring Fry's numerous advances on Leela. Better than Zapp's advances though…

"Hey, you guys, the season finale of _All My Circuits_ is on!" Leela called from the other room, and Bender and Fry raced over to the couch, leaving the Robot Devil alone in the kitchen.

"At last, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!" He declared, then shook his head. "Shame it's not really that way. I'd give anything for a ridiculous plan right now. Emotions… what a drag."


	7. Burn, Baby, Burn

Revolutioning a Robot

**Revolutioning a Robot**

**Chapter Seven: Burn, Baby, Burn**

Eight hours in a car with this fic writing itself in your head is never a good thing. Just FYI. Please excuse anything incredibly weird. That's what long car rides do to you. Or me. Whatever.

Please forgive the fact that this fic is rushed. It was written at two different times rather than all at once. Blame the fact that I'm on vacation.

-+-

For once in his lifetime, things seemed to be… normal. Bender couldn't believe it. He'd adapted to the chip well enough to talk to Fry and remain as calm and sarcastic as usual—though sometimes a little meaner, that was unintentional, of course. Nevertheless, Bender was surprised that a whole week had passed quite normally, even with the Robot Devil taking up the other half of his room.

"Shouldn't you be going back? How the hell can Robot Hell run itself?" Bender asked late one night, causing the Robot Devil's void eyes to return to normal, and earned what appeared to be a glare.

"Shouldn't you learn not to disturb someone after they've shut down to conserve power for the night?" He grumbled in response, folding his arms irritably. But Bender's blank stare prompted him to answer the question. "Well, I'm more of a figurehead than anything. Oh, and the bureaucrat. Yes, I run the paperwork, but Hell can run itself." He opened his chest cavity and revealed a blue pin much like Hermes', with a clear rank of "16" stamped on it.

"You rank higher than Hermes? Oh that's rich." Bender laughed as the Robot Devil put the pin away. "So how long do you plan on stayin' here?"

"As long as I feel like it." The Robot Devil answered a bit too quickly, causing Bender to slant his eyes in an expression that read suspicion. "What I mean is…" The Robot Devil paused, unable to come up with a suitable answer. He shrugged instead.

Bender let it pass with an equal shrug. "Eh, whatever. I guess we all need a vacation sometimes. Oh man, I'd kill for a vacation!" He groaned.

"…You were gone for a week, and they haven't even had a delivery yet." The Robot Devil pointed out bluntly.

"It's still work." Bender complained.

Silence passed between the two robots for awhile, the only sound a soft metallic _click_ as the Robot Devil's tail hit the wall a few times. The first one to break the silence was Bender, deciding on a topic both robots had a brief understanding of. "So… uh… about that chip…?"

"We could check its' progress." The Robot Devil stated, contemplating the idea. "Of course, you haven't done much to get rid of it, if I may be so bold as to say."

"You're saying it anyway." Bender pointed out.

"Anyway, shouldn't you attempt to get rid of it through whatever means possible? Wasn't that what you were planning on doing when you returned here?"

He was right in some sense. But Bender couldn't just tie Fry down and _force_ him to commit the sin of robosexuality. Not only was that cruel and unusual, but Bender didn't want to lose his friendship with Fry over this. No, there had to be a better way. He didn't notice the Robot Devil's look until he was pinned up against the wall. "Oh… uh… Well, this is awkward."

"Bender," The Robot Devil started in a near-friendly tone, despite the fact that he'd pinned the robot to the wall. "You need to get rid of that chip to function normally. The only way to do that is to burn out the chip by acting on such urges." Bender already knew that, so before the robot could respond, the Robot Devil continued, "It's fairly simple. We both get what we both want."

"Ah," Bender replied a bit warily. "But the last time it hurt!"

"It never hurts as much the second time."

-+-

Fry's dreams, while often full of ads, weren't usually so vivid. Nor did he ever hear anything suspicious coming from Bender's closet—err, room. Groaning, the human lurched up and approached the door that separated the robot's room from the closet. On closer inspection, the noises were even louder and more vivid. He raised a hand to knock on the door when he heard a very distinct "Ow!" come from within. "You said it wouldn't hurt!" That was Bender's voice, and he knew it. Confused, half-asleep, and now concerned for his robotic best friend, Fry shoved the door aside to glance in at possibly the strangest sight he'd ever beheld.

Bender was slammed up against the wall, pinned down by the Robot Devil. The latter had his hands on either side of Bender's head, balancing him over the other robot. Both robots' bodies were snaked in a way that Fry hadn't ever though possible, with the usual inflexible Bender pressed up against the Robot Devil, hands keeping him latched in such a position on the metallic devil.

There was a long moment of pause where both robots stared at Fry blankly, and the human stared back. All three of them were thinking along the same wavelength, with the words "I'm" and "boned" being the words in common.

The Robot Devil made the first move, quickly sliding the door shut. Fry immediately slid it back open, only to find the two robots separated and apparently in sleep mode. Bender murmured a very convincing "Kill all humans," to add to the illusion. Fry blinked a few times before shutting the door, and presumably, returning to sleep.

"I'm boned." Bender groaned after a sufficient amount of time passed, and he figured Fry had returned to bed. The Robot Devil was oddly quiet too, and if his widened eyes meant anything, then he was surely just as surprised as Bender was. The Robot Devil, of course, had nothing to fear from Fry.

"That was way too close." He finally admitted, wondering if Bender could get a lock for the door. "I don't know what you're going to do about that."

"Hell, I don't know either." With any luck, Fry would think it was a dream, or he'd forget about it.

-+-

Luck, however, was not on their side.

Fry ignored both of them when they entered the Planet Express building as usual. The Robot Devil had taken to following Bender around everywhere, curious about everything. He'd spend his entire existence running the two Robot Hells, so something like this was fascinating to him, unlike the others.

No one seemed to realize anything was wrong, which fueled Bender's beliefs that Fry hadn't said anything yet. Okay, that was a good sign.

"Bender, you look awfully guilty about something." Leela commented as the robot slid into his usual seat beside her. The Robot Devil took Zoidberg's seat, as usual, and no one said anything. Not even Zoidberg, who had been relegated to standing. Not that anyone minded.

"No I'm not! Who says so!? I didn't do anything!" Bender immediately protested, slamming his fists down on the table and leaving dents. "Uh, oops."

The Professor waved a hand to shut his delivery crew up. "Good news, everyone!"

"It's never good news," Bender grumbled to himself. It went unheard, or at least, unnoticed.

"You all have a delivery to Tropicca 10, the jungle planet. Not to be confused with any of the Amphibios planets." He added, with a look over in Amy's direction. Her once-ecstatic expression fell. "You'll have to deliver this fire extinguisher to the king." He held out an ordinary fire extinguisher for Leela to take, and then tottered off.

"Professor, wait," Leela called after him. "Is this planet dangerous?"

"Oh my, no." The Professor shook his head, and added in an undertone to himself, "Unless you happen to step on the king."

-+-

"Are we ready?"

"All the blinky lights are flashing, so I think so." Fry responded, pressing a few random buttons to make himself look cool. The Planet Express ship deployed a life preserver.

Leela sighed. "Good enough. Let's make this quick, alright?"

Fry nodded, Bender gave what appeared to be his version of a nod, and the Robot Devil—

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Leela asked.

"I've never been into space before." The Robot Devil leaned over Bender's shoulder, staring out as the ship's engines began to roar to life.

Sighing, the cyclops captain decided it would be wise to ignore the stowaway (though he certainly hadn't done a good job of it!) and focus on her job. That's why she was captain.

"Can I do the countdown?" Fry asked, again. It had become almost normal for him to ask, and for Leela to ignore him.

"Knock yourself out." She said, and sped off before Fry could even get to 'one.'

-+-

Tropicca 10 was indeed a very green planet. In fact, it was entirely composed of greens. "Don't you organic creatures need water too?" Bender wondered aloud as the ship landed in the middle of a large field of grass. Everything in sight was hidden by a thick veil of trees, and this had been the only spot Leela could find to park.

Grumbling, the captain ignored Bender and headed off to the airlock to get suited up. "The atmosphere's toxic, at least according to the ship's scanners."

Fry joined her in the airlock as Bender and the Robot Devil awaited the two to put on space suits. The robotic prince of darkness was still in awe, and had practically had his face pressed against the glass the entire time. Bender had tried to tell him it wasn't that big of a deal, but he'd been ignored. "Toxic?" The Robot Devil finally asked as the humans motioned for the robots to join them. "What does she mean by that?"

"The air; breathing it would kill the meatbags." Bender elaborated, jumping out of the airlock and landing on the grass, sinking in a bit. "Eww," He complained, pulling himself out and finding mud and grass stuck to his feet. "Gross."

"We're supposed to find the king. The Professor gave us these coordinates, so they're probably wrong." Leela sighed, holding the rectangular package under one arm and examining the coordinates. "I'd assume there's a palace somewhere in the forest."

"Well, c'mon! What are you waitin' for?" Fry was already heading off toward the forest, pushing aside tree branches and seeming to be enjoying every minute of it. "This is so cool! I always wanted to explore the Amazon! But I don't like snakes, or bugs, or tigers, or bears, or…"

He probably would have continued on until someone stopped him, but Fry instead stepped on something that made a loud _crack_ sound. Looking down, the redhead found himself face to tail with a large boa constrictor, or what appeared to be one. Screaming like a girl (putting Bender's feminine shriek to shame), Fry ran back and hid behind Leela. "Wh-what is that thing!?"

"Oh, Fry, it's just a snake." Leela sighed, pushing him off and approaching it. "Oh, you poor little creature! Did that big, mean, clumsy dolt step on your tail?" She cooed, picking the snake up, only to gasp and throw it back down. "Fry! You broke it's neck!"

"Snakes have necks?" Bender asked absently, though his remark was ignored.

"And Fry… I think he was the king!" Leela held up a miniature crown that had been on the snake's head, in plain view. Of course no one had noticed it.

There was a long silence as Leela held up the crown, Fry stared blankly, and the two robots attempted to make sense of this. "Well, we're boned." Bender finally offered helpfully.

As if on cue, the grass suddenly swarmed with snakes, appearing from the dirt to coil around the humans and robots, proceeding to squeeze the meatbags, and cut themselves on the robots' sharp edges. "You killed our king! You killed our king! We musssst kill you!" They repeated over and over in some sort of chant.

"Hiyah!" Leela managed to beat off a few snakes before she was bogged down and nearly strangled, while Fry struggled uselessly against one of his own. Bender ignored the two of them and pulled out a cigar. After trying to light it several times, he groaned and held it out to the Robot Devil.

"Why don't you light this place on fire? I need a light."

"Hm, that would make sense." The Robot Devil mused, watching Fry and Leela attempt to fight off the snakes in amusement. "I'd assume they wouldn't like fire." It was all too soon that they'd forgotten the package they were delivering. Or maybe they were just all idiots. Neverthless, the Robot Devil cackled and shot several flames from the ground, immediately setting off a chain effect. Flames ravaged the field, then spread to the trees, and within moments, and a loud _boom_ later, the entire planet had erupted in a fiery blast.

"…Well, we're boned again."

-+-

"Good news everyone! You cost our company ten trillion, million dollars!" The Professor declared as the four arrived back from the mission, all relatively unhurt. "Oh wait, that's not good news at all. You're all fired!"

Hermes was steaming mad too, immediately holding out four sheets of pink paper. "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, and you too!" He handed one to each of them, including the Robot Devil.

"I don't even work here." The robot replied, looking the pink sheet over.

"Then in that case, would you like to be workin' 'ere, mon?" Hermes asked, in a nearly polite tone.

"No. This seems like a bad allusion to some other show." That, however, was clearly not directed at Hermes.

Leela sighed and headed to go clean out her locker, again. It seemed she got fired every week. And then was rehired because she was the only one who could drive stick. How ridiculous. Not far behind her was a distraught-looking Fry, and the two robots, who seemed apathetic to the situation, as usual.

"But without a job, how am I going to lay around and watch TV and eat food?" Fry lamented to Bender, apparently forgetting all about what had happened last night. "I can't do it, Bender! I need this job!"

"Eh, that's alright, meatsack. We'll just go bum off the government!" Bender declared, then paused. "Oh wait, Nixon's in charge. Dammit, we'll never get compensation money with a Republican in office!" Slamming his fist into his palm, Bender stated, "Then we'll just have to take Nixon out of office!"

"Doesn't that seem like a lot more work than looking for a new job?" Leela asked sarcastically over her shoulder as she packed up the last of her things. "And besides, give him a day and the Professor will forget all about this."

"Or you could work for me in Robot Hell." The Robot Devil added, though Bender noticed something odd about his tone. Was it hopeful? Definitely strange.

"Nah, we'll just take the week off. C'mon, Fry, let's go do nothing for a week!" Bender pulled his roommate out by the elbow, ignoring the protests from Fry.

Leela sighed. "That's all they ever do…"


	8. The Pros and Cons of Musicians

Revolutionizing a Robot

**Revolutionizing a Robot**

**Chapter Eight: The Pros and Cons of Musicians**

You guys have permission to smack me now. I'm so sorry I haven't updated this! I unfortunately lost inspiration, and this isn't as good as the previous chapters. I'm sorry, but I promise chapter nine will be better! We're also nearing the end, isn't this going to be fun? Hahah. Thank you so much, all you wonderful reviewers!

-+-

A week tended to be a fairly long amount of time for Bender. The human lifespan was certainly longer than the usefulness of most robot models, and Bender vaguely wondered if he was slowly becoming obsolete with each passing day. But such melancholy thoughts were tossed aside; besides, if he did actually become useless, he'd just shut himself off permanently. Or use a suicide booth. As if those things could ever actually kill him, hah!

With his feet propped up on the coffee table as usual, eyes glued to the commercial-ridden television program, Bender realized just how much time really had passed since the Professor fired them. It had been slightly over a week—one hundred and eighty one hours, to be exact. One hundred and eighty one hours of the Robot Devil practically attached to his side.

It was indeed odd that the ruler of Robot Hell itself would be so determined to stay with Bender and Fry, but it was even stranger that he showed no signs of malfunction, yet still claimed this was merely to make sure his legs held up. Oh please. Anyone could see through that lie. But why exactly was he still here? Was it because he wanted to bum off Bender for awhile? That jerk! No wait, that couldn't be it. The Robot Devil didn't ask for anything, after all. Perhaps he was avoiding paperwork down in Robot Hell? But he hadn't had a problem with it before. Hmm. Bender let the thoughts roll aimlessly through his mind as the commercials trailed off to return to the program—a rather old episode of _Hypnotoad_.

"Hey, Bender!" The human's voice from the bathroom alerted Bender that there were other things in his life besides TV and his own circling thoughts, and the robot moved a little to glance over at the half-open door. "Go get the plunger! I think I got my foot stuck in the toilet again!"

The robot shook his head and let out what passed for a sigh before finally getting up and starting toward the small closet, where various cleaning supplies were kept (and of course, never used). "Plunger, plunger," He repeated to himself, trying to remember which one that was. Finally deciding on the weird thing with the cup on the end, he plodded into the bathroom and handed it over to the human, folding his arms afterwards. "Any reason why you stuck your foot in the toilet, meatbag?"

"Not particularly." Fry shrugged and took the plunger, attempting to wedge his foot out with muted grunts.

Bender left, already bored of the human's futile attempt to free himself from the watery death-trap known as the toilet. Plopping back onto the couch, he heard the tell-tale swish as the door to his own room opened and a familiar face entered.

"Ah, Bender! You'll never guess what I found!" The Robot Devil declared, immediately shoving Bender over and taking his spot on the couch. The other robot complained, but didn't make a move to take his seat back. The Robot Devil continued before Bender could guess, "I discovered something absolutely _magnificent_! Sheer brilliance, I'd say." And with that, he held up a square and unremarkable case, smaller than the size of Bender's head.

"And?" The other robot prompted, reaching for the remote to turn up the volume and tune the Robot Devil out. "What's so wonderful 'bout a stupid case?" Unless, of course, it contained money. He doubted it though.

The Robot Devil sighed and shook his head, then set the case down (conveniently on top of the remote, effectively hitting the mute button as well), and opened it up. Within was something familiar to Bender, though it took several moments of assembly before he recognized it.

"Oh, a holophoner."

"You've seen one then?" The Robot Devil asked as he deftly twisted the last piece into place and tapped his fingers against the keys experimentally, examining the musical instrument from all angles.

"Yeah, Fry plays it. Remember? The hands deal?"

Instead of responding (or more than likely, not wanting to remember), the Robot Devil brought the instrument to his jaw. Bender wondered how a robot could play an instrument that clearly required air, when suddenly the holophoner produced a magical sound, immediately weaving out a tapestry of colors and images that Bender could only attempt to keep up with. The Robot Devil looked relatively pleased with himself, though it was only as a passing thought that Bender even noticed him over the music and images.

A flushing sound came from the bathroom, ruining the musical piece and shattering the once-peaceful mood. The Robot Devil turned his head to look in the bathroom's direction, Bender following his gaze. Fry came out, pant-leg soaked, and looked over at the two robots on the couch. "Hey, is that my holophoner?" He asked.

"No, I bought it at a pawn shop. I suppose yours would be better though? This one's quality is absolutely atrocious." The Robot Devil shook his head and set about undoing the pieces to store it away in the case. "I believe I'll attempt to look for a superior model. But they aren't very common…"

"Wait, hang on." Bender stalled the Robot Devil with a hand placed to his arm. The Robot Devil gave him an enigmatic look before Bender quickly continued, "I thought it was pretty good. Better than the meatbag's playin', that is. Why don'tcha teach him?"

"Oh hey, that sounds like a good idea!" Fry nodded and rushed off to go get his holophoner.

"Bender, I don't teach. I'm the Robot Devil, for Godbot's sake!" He was apparently unaware of the paradox his statement presented, for the Robot Devil shook his head and continued, "Besides, humans are so slow. They just aren't quick enough to learn the art of the holophoner."

Bender shrugged. "Fry's okay at it, I guess. Not like I'd know, 'cause music sucks."

That was probably the wrong thing to say. "What? Sucks? Music?" The Robot Devil's rather unintelligible speech was rendered from shock, and he managed the expression as best he could with an immobile, never-changing grin. "Hardly! Music is the epitome of human intelligence! Why, without music there'd be—"

"—Less noise?" Bender continued sarcastically, extending his arm to grab the remote from under the holophoner case, deciding that television was better than listening to the squeaking of Fry's holophoner. "Besides, most music is awful."

"_You_ certainly seemed amused when I was playing the violin." The Robot Devil remarked snidely, putting the holophoner away and crossing his arms as the television's sound took over the room again. Only the sound of Hypnotoad's hypnotic vision echoed around the small apartment for a moment, broken when Fry reentered with the holophoner.

"Oh hey, Hypnotoad!" He sat on Bender's other side, and immediately forgot about playing. That left the trio watching in silence until the commercial break, where an add for Nappster popped up. "I thought they were shut down." Fry commented.

"Huh," Bender didn't remotely care, but made the noise to appease the human's overwhelming sense of curiosity. He just never shut up about anything, did he? The robot on his side didn't move, though his tail was swishing about, nearly trailing on the floor. Bender wondered how he could constantly move it. Seemed rather pointless to him.

The silence lasted through another episode of _Hypnotoad_, but by then it had become awkward rather than comfortable. Fry made up some excuse to scamper out of the room, leaving the two robots focused on the TV. But that wasn't going to last for long, because apparently they'd forgotten to pay the electric bill. All the lights, as well as the TV, shut off abruptly, causing Bender to groan.

"Dammit," He remarked, getting up and starting toward the window. It was sometime after noon, which really meant Bender had plenty of time to pay the electric bill before Fry dragged himself back home. "I'm not paying for his damn electricity. He needs it more than I do!"

"I thought you were addicted to the television." There was something in the Robot Devil's tone of voice that caused Bender to turn his head all the way around, confused. All the time he had been here, the Robot Devil had been at least civil, and rather amusing to be around. But his tone of voice was icy cold—probably as cold as Fry claimed his hands were. The robotic prince of darkness was still seated at the couch, staring at the black TV screen, arms and legs crossed, and his tail swishing in a more frantic pattern than the norm.

"Something wrong?" Bender asked before he could really think about it. Damn, that chip! He wasn't supposed to be empathetic toward _anyone_. He folded his arms as well, and turned around to give the other robot his full attention. "Well?"

The Robot Devil turned slowly, standing to face Bender. "I don't believe you're stupid, Bender, but I don't think you've figured it out yet."

"Figured what out?"

"It," The Robot Devil replied sarcastically. Bender rolled his eyes in response, but the Robot Devil continued quickly, "Why do you believe I've stayed up here, hmm? I can assure you it's not because of any other malfunctions with my legs."

"Yeah, the old man fixed you up pretty good." Bender shrugged. He didn't seem to realize the Robot Devil was waiting for him to answer the question. "What?"

A loud sigh was the response he got, as the Robot Devil pressed a hand to what passed as his temples irritably. "Listen, Bender, I'll make this very easy for you to understand, alright?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I've remained on the surface here—with you and that fleshy pet of yours—because I find you to be an interesting robot."

"Well, I am." Bender replied with another shrug, folding his arms. "What's your point?"

The Robot Devil's narrowed eyes were enough of an expression to reveal his disgust toward Bender's naivety. "Three words, my metallic companion; I. Like. You."

The gears slowly whirred and clicked their way into place in Bender's head as he tried to process this new and strange information. The damned disc sent out a vibrant _"Yes!"_ through Bender's entire system, but for once it didn't win. "Wait, what?"

"I'm going back to Robot Hell," The Robot Devil remarked, picking up the Holophoner case. "It has been quite entertaining, but I do have work to attend to."

"But you said—?"

"So long, and don't come back unless you're in the mood for a deal—one that doesn't involve my hands being stolen." With that, the Robot Devil turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving one very confused robot.

-+-

Night fell, and sure enough, Fry returned to a darkened apartment. "Bender?" He asked cautiously as he found the door open. "You in here?"

"Yeah," Remarked the robot from the corner of the room. He was seated on the floor of the closet, staring out at the bright lights of New, New York.

Fry immediately ran over. "Bender, Bender! What's wrong? Are you actually being melancholy!?"

"How do you even know that word?" The robot asked blankly before pulling himself to his feet and clapping metal hands on Fry's shoulders. "Nah, listen, meatbag, it's nothing. I'm good."

"Okay…" Fry didn't seem convinced.

Bender patted his shoulder in consolation. "I'll be out late tonight. Don't expect me back until morning. And don't lock me out!"

"Where are you going?"

Something like a smile twisted on Bender's mouth-guard. "I'm going to Robot Hell."


End file.
